The Man Answers The Phone

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.

The cell phone on one of the benches rings, and one of the men puts the phone on speaker and starts talking while wearing his golf shoes. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

Man: “Hello?”

Woman: “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”

Man: “Yes.”

Woman: “I’m at the mall and I found this beautiful leather jacket. It’s only $1200 right now, down from $1900. Do you mind if I buy it?”

Man: “Sure, if you like it that much, buy it.

Woman: “Oh, thank you very much. I also went by the Mercedes dealership this morning and saw the new models, and there was one I really liked.”

Man: “How much?”

Woman: “80.000. “80.000.”

Man: “OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.

Woman: “Great! Oh, and one more thing. That house we looked at last year is back on the market. They want 1,500,000.”

Man: “Well, go ahead and make them an offer, but no more than 1,250,000.”

Woman: “Wow, great! See you later! I love you!”

Man: “I love you too, bye!”

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room look at him in amazement.

Then he smiles and asks, “Does anyone know who this phone belongs to?”

Amish Woman And Police

An Amish woman was driving her horse and buggy into town with her young son when she was stopped by a highway patrolman.

“I’m not going to give you a ticket,” the officer said, “I just wanted to warn you that the reflector on the back of your car is broken and could be dangerous.”

“Thank you,” said the Amish woman, “I will have my husband fix it as soon as I get home.”

“Also,” said the officer, “I noticed that one of your horse’s reins is tied around the horse’s testicles. Some might consider that ‘cruelty to animals,’ so you’d better have your husband check that out, too.”

“Thank you again,” said the Amish woman, “I will have my husband look into that when I get home.”

When the Amish woman returned home, she told her husband about the broken reflector, and he said he would fix it right away.

“Also,” the Amish woman said, “the police officer said there was something wrong with our emergency brake.