The Conductor’s Amazing Plan

A businessman rushed to the station just in time to catch the Rockhampton Express from Brisbane.

After taking his seat, he asked the conductor when the train would arrive in Gladstone.

“There are no stops in Gladstone on Wednesdays,” the conductor replied.

“What!” exclaimed the businessman.

“There are no stops in Gladstone on Wednesdays.”

“But it’s mandatory. I have an important meeting there.”

The conductor was adamant. “This is a weekly express, and there are no stops at Gladstone on Wednesdays.”

After much discussion, a compromise was reached. The conductor agreed to ask the engineer to slow down to 60 mph as the train passed through Gladstone. He would then hold the businessman by the window of the car, the businessman would run his legs through the air as fast as he could, and when the conductor thought his leg speed was sufficient, he would set him down on the platform.

When the train arrived in Gladstone, this plan was put into action and the businessman ran to the platform at top speed. He ran to the end of the platform, hoping to stop himself before the end.

Just as the last car of the train passed him, a switchman grabbed him by the collar and led him back onto the train through the open window.

“Welcome aboard, my friend,” the switchman said, “you’re lucky I caught you, there are no stops at Gladstone on Wednesdays.”

The Teacher Refused To Accept The Exam Paper But…

A group of students are taking their end-of-year exams.

The beady-eyed old moderator at the head of the class stares at the clock at the end of the room as the students furiously scribble the rest of their answers, knowing that time is running out.

Minutes later, the clock struck a new hour and the exam was over.

“TIME’S UP!” the grumpy invigilator shouted, “Please put your papers in the pile on my desk.”

The students quietly stood up, breathed a sigh of relief, and quickly shoved their papers into a pile as they left the classroom.

All except one boy who was still finishing his last answer. He had finished 20 seconds later than the rest of his classmates, but as he stood up to put his paper on the pile, the old man motioned for him to stop.

“Too late,” the old man sneered, “you should have handed in your homework earlier.

The student’s mouth dropped open. This was not fair. “Hey, come on, I should be allowed to turn this in,” he stammered for a moment.

The old man still refused.

Then the student said smugly, “Do you know who I am?”

The old man looked at him over his glasses, almost stunned by the stupid boy’s smug attitude. “No, I don’t,” the moderator replied.

The student then said, “Good,” shoved his paper in the middle of the pile, and ran out of the room.